Oh yeah- there was a wedding!

“Marriage is a lot like an orange…”

So far, you’ve read about Glasgow and the pre-wedding adventures at Hotel Ardanaiseig; today, as the last long weekend of the summer comes to an end (tear) let me share with you a little about the big day itself.

Before I begin in earnest, the vast majority of photos in this post are courtesy of Michelle who is, in a word, fantastic. I did make sure she was okay with me using the photos she took, so it’s cool.

Pre-ceremony

The morning began with a delicious breakfast, the details of which I can’t really remember. I think I had smoked salmon, but I might not have. I don’t know. Anyways… After breakfast, the bridal party (myself included) headed down to the boathouse to get prepared. Naturally, while the ladies had their hair done, put on makeup and do all the other things that ladies must do before a big event like this, I sat around. The benefit of being the Dude of Honour is that, thankfully, I didn’t have to put on a fancy dress. It takes me 15 minutes tops to get myself in a suit (and big thanks to Nancy for handling the pressing of all our clothes!).

So, while they did that… I “helped” get the dress ready. Clearly, as you’ll see from the photo below, I knew exactly what I was doing.

“I’m helping!”

Eventually, I figured out what I was doing – and could become a tailor if this whole PR thing doesn’t work out for me!

After all the insanity of getting ready (and a second trip to the boathouse in the golf cart to retrieve the forgotten veil, thus fulfilling my Dude of Honour duties in style), we were ready to have a weddin’!

I took this photo, so clearly, I was “helping” again.

OMG, A WEDDING!

Ah, the ceremony… So lovely. It seemed to be over in flash – and we all got to relax while the official photographer took the pictures, so this section will be a little sparse on the photo front.

The wedding itself was quite intimate – which was beautiful – and the officiant was fantastic. It was the perfect ceremony, as it was completely Steph and Mike. When Steph’s mom, Dawna, asked if I wanted some Kleenex before we went up to the main house for the wedding, I naturally declined. “I won’t need them, I’ll be fine!” Well, that was a crock… I held it together until Steph started coming down the aisle, to a string quartet playing “Here Comes the Sun.” That damn song gets me every time! However, I wasn’t alone – the entire room was a tearful, snotty, happy mess (I’m exaggerating about the snot – but there were lots of happy tears). I didn’t trip coming down the aisle, and neither did anyone else, so in my eyes, it was a success.

Speech! Speech!

I can’t lie – I spent so much time writing my speech that I couldn’t wait to deliver it. Namely because I had some pretty fantastic references to The Simpsons in there that I needed to get out. How did it all come together you ask? Here are some snippets:

Someone once said “…there’s nothing more admirable than two people who see eye to eye keeping house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.” The person who said that was Homer – the philosopher, not the Simpson…

I was also able to work in the venerable Grampa Simpson, who told Homer on his wedding day:

If you ever travel back in time, don’t step on anything. Because even the slightest change can alter the future in ways you can’t imagine.”

Speech!

Of course, I wasn’t the only person to speak; both Dawna and Bryan gave touching speeches, Nancy and Doug (Mike’s parents) made me cry for a second time and Nate (the Best Man) gave one of the warmest speeches I’ve ever heard at a wedding.

Nate, the Best Man

Cake! Dancing! The Beach Boys?

After all the hilarity of the speeches, it was time for cake and dancing! My second valiant rescue came when the music for the dancing didn’t upload to Steph’s iPhone. Thanks to my own ridiculous taste in music, I was able to make a playlist in a few moments. In Grade 10, Steph and I were in Junior Band together. We had to play “Kokomo” and have resented that song ever since. Naturally, though, the first song that played (after the first dance)? Kokomo. Nothing like the Beach Boys in Scotland…

Awwwwww

What were some of the other songs, you ask? Well… Let me share with you the ridiculousness that was this playlist:

• Wake Me Up Before You Go Go – WHAM!
• Come on Eileen – Dexy’s Midnight Runners
• I Got You Babe – Sonny and Cher
• If I Had $1,000,000 – Barenaked Ladies
• Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley

And more – but those are some of the funniest, in my mind.

And so…

With that, Steph and Mike were married, laughs were had, stomachs were full of amazing food. If I might be mushy for a moment, I have to say that in addition to celebrating with two of my very best friends, the wedding was beautiful because I made new friends; friendships which I think (and hope) last for a lifetime. It was a crazy adventure getting there (both before the wedding and literally – the roads to the hotel are intense), but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

In the words of Homer Simpson…

“What’s a wedding? Webster’s dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one’s garden.”

This was one wedding that had no weeds. Just lots of flowers.

Welcome to the Hotel Ardanaiseig (Part One)

A grand hotel, indeed

I guess I should travel more often; it gives me content to write about. If you missed the first part of my travels, be sure to check out my last post!

After we spent the night in Glasgow, we hopped on the mid-afternoon train from Glasgow Queen Street station up to Taynuilt, to then catch a cab to our hotel, Hotel Ardanaiseig which is in Argyll. 

We learned two things on our walk to Glasgow Queen Street station:

1. Glasgow has epic hills to climb; and
2. Chelsea is a tank, for pulling a heavy suitcase up said hills.

Despite getting slightly turned around and a quick turn-off of Airplane Mode on my phone to access Google Maps, we made it to the station with time to spare, where we met up with others heading to the wedding and experienced Costa for the first time.

Despite the delay with the train, which kept us an hour behind schedule, rail service in the UK is far superior to that in Canada. ScotRail puts VIA to shame. Our train was on the West Highland line, which was awarded the “top rail journey in the world” a few years ago. Not too shabby!

The view from the train.

It’s about two and a half hours from Glasgow to Taynuilt, where we got off and started the craziest part of our journey: the cab ride through narrow, twisty roads to reach Ardanaiseig. In the cab I was in, I was the only person to not feel dizzy and nauseous from the drive (it didn’t help we had a cabbie who was used to the roads and drove them quite quick – and called us Americans in the process!).

After arriving safely and a quick drop of our bags in our room, we were off to Oban for dinner!

I’ll share all the lovely wedding memories, and more details on the hotel in my next post. Stay tuned!

Josh joins the bridal party

The “Man of Honour” (me) and the Bride-to-be (Steph)

This past weekend, I had the pleasure to attend a Jack and Jill wedding shower for my dear friends Steph and Mike, who are getting married in August. As you know from an earlier blog post, I’m in the wedding party. It’s a very non-traditional wedding, simply because Steph’s Maid of Honour is… me!

As a guy and someone who has never been to a wedding shower before, I had no clue what to expect. Steph’s family knows how to throw a party: tons of delicious food (including a candy table… amazing!), good company and gin! It’s clear that Steph’s mom knows me very well – there was lemonade and as I poured some gin in it, someone commented about how they couldn’t possibly go together. Without missing a beat, Dawna informed the group that “with Josh, gin can go in anything.” She’s so right.

During the festivities, there reached a point where the men were sent outside, so the women could play games. Naturally, knowing my gender, I headed for my shoes. That’s when Steph piped up with “what about Josh?” It was then that things took an interesting turn…

As the Man of Honour and a member of the bridal party, I was to stay with the women. I felt like a spy – I was to be the only man who would know what happens when the bridal party gets together. The games began, with a version of “Never Have I Ever” where some… interesting… things were revealed.

Then, we had to compete with blindfolds and oven mitts on to put on a pair of pantyhose. I felt this game was inherently unfair; I’d never put pantyhose on in my entire life and I hadn’t shaved my legs. I competed against Steph in this game and after… an eternity, I did win against her. I don’t know whether to be very proud or not about this fact.

Other games were played, laughs were had and many jokes about my being with the group were made. It was all in good great fun and it has made for some interesting photos.

I could write a whole thing about how happy I am for Steph and Mike, but it would be my wedding speech and then I’d have nothing to say in Scotland, except for this:

We’re halfway there!

Well, 2013 is more than halfway over and time marches on.

When I look back on the first half of this year and compare it to 2012 in general, I realize that I’m significantly happier than I was at any point last year. I hated last year.

That isn’t to say this year hasn’t been without its challenges. People have come in to my life, and people have left. Some of those people have left for the wrong reasons and that is something that I’m learning to live with – and they will also have to live with. But ultimately, it comes down to this: am I happy with who I am? The answer to that is a resounding yes.

On the work front, I have a job that I love. A job that challenges me and a job that makes a difference in the city I live in. At this point last year, I was about to start a position with a company that put me in a job that I have disliked the most out of all my roles. While the people I worked with on a daily basis were wonderful, management was, at best uncaring and at worst incompetent.

My family continues to keep me grounded. They support me, love me unconditionally and make me laugh far too often. My family has grown with the addition of a bundle of energy named Atticus (a puppy, not a baby for those who didn’t click the link).

So too, have my friends continued to play a vital role in my life. As we grow up and have either reached or are nearing 25, much is changing: there are wedding invitations coming in the mail, pregnancies, home buying and all the exciting stuff that comes with growing up.

Yes, there have been downsides. There are people who continue to think they know everything – and look at the world with blinders. While it pains me to walk away from those people, so it must be. While they may be incredibly smart, I’ve no time for emotional morons. Those who sit on high and lay down their judgements are cast aside for good reason. I don’t know where they think they get that power, but it is what it is.

So – at this time six-and-a-half months from now, I’ll be wrapping up another year and getting ready to celebrate my favourite holiday. I can’t wait to see what the next half of the year has to offer. Buckle up and enjoy the ride!

On Life and Growing Up

Yesterday, I went to the wedding of a good friend. It’s funny how your mind starts to wander and reflect after milestone events like that; as I’ve written about before, I’ve been blessed with an amazing circle of friends. I have friends that I’ve known for over 20 years and instead of the circle shrinking as we pursue new things, it grows as we meet new people.

The Bride and Groom

Weddings can be awkward – if you don’t know a lot of people, it’s an extended period of time spent with strangers, making small conversation and doing the standard “where do you live, what do you do for work” conversations. That wasn’t the case with this wedding, as many of the people there had done Relay for Life with Sandy (the bride) and our team. It was a mini-reunion, with free food and an open bar!

Crystal and I. Haven’t seen her since 2005!

I guess what I’m trying to get at (and hinted at in the title of this post) is that these are the kinds of events that make you take a step back and reflect on where you’ve been, who you’ve gone with and where you’re going next. I’m still not used to the fact that most of my friends and I are 25 (or almost there) and the next chapters are beginning for all of us. We have careers, and now the weddings and the babies are coming in full force. It’s hard to get out of that high school state of mind; you always remember the ridiculous things that were said and done, which made you laugh. If you go a long time without seeing those people, it’s hard not to remember them for who they were back then – not who they are now.

Now, there is one thing that Sandy said to me last night, which made me laugh:

Okay, you’re my cynic: what are people going to complain about?

She was referencing the ceremony/reception; and I laughed – because there really was nothing wrong. It was a lovely ceremony (quick, too!), the food was delicious, the decorations were very Sandy (I always joked and called her a little priss – and I even said that I would wager money that there would be a lot of pink and some frills – I was right). It was heartfelt, warm, inviting – just like Sandy and her family have always been to me.

So, what is the takeaway from this rambling post which doesn’t really seem to have any direction? I guess it’s this: treasure your friends. Grow with them. Experience the exciting moments in their lives and let them know you share in their joys, sorrow and everything in between. Those are true friends – and nothing else really matters.

 

It’s Our First Anniversary!

I can hardly believe it, but today is the one year anniversary of the first post on the blog. If you’ll pardon my language, let me say that it has been one hell of a year. Since this blog was posted, there have been weddings, engagements, good times and heartbreak.

There have been “cheeky” posts, serious posts, and posts that might have rankled some people. I’ve shared bad music videos and discovered independent artists who have provided amusement.

Now that I’ve linked to almost every single post I’ve written in the past year, I do genuinely want to thank every single person who reads. Most of you are close friends or family, but there are readers across the globe. Without a joke, I’ve had readers in Russia, India and (believe it or not) Myanmar. To be fair, Honey Boo Boo has driven a lot of that traffic over, but I’ll take it.

So, after one year, again all I can say is this: thank you. I hope you’ll read for another year and we shall see where we go. Onward!

100 Things About Josh: Volume One

So, someone that I follow on Twitter spent today tweeting #100ThingsAboutMe and I thought it was a pretty amazing thing to do. Naturally, I’m doing my own version and decided to be suspenseful by splitting it in two.

Without further ado, Here are items 100 – 51 of “Things About Josh:”

Things About Josh, #100 – 51…

100.

This is my favourite photo of myself.

99. In my personal life, I tend to react faster out of anger than any other emotion; it’s not always a good thing…

98. My childhood dream of becoming a lawyer has returned recently.

97. Seeing all my friends getting married/having babies/buying houses makes me wonder when it’s “my turn.”

96. Very few of my friends go through break-ups. That has made my recent one all the more difficult.

95. My political views make no sense: I’m socially left-wing, fiscally right-wing and think criminals should be locked away for good.

94. My favourite food of all time is my Mom’s Mac ‘n Cheese.

93. I’m addicted to Grapefruit Perrier – after G&T, it’s my preferred beverage.

92. My iPhone music is 4.4% ABBA; I did the math.

91. If somebody offered me one chance to go back in time and change one thing in my life, I’d go back to 1999 and tell the doctor what was wrong with my Grandma.

90. I can’t see myself ever getting married.

89. Ditto for having kids.

88. Bad music is my guilty pleasure.

87. The first car I ever drove was a 1992 Cavalier station wagon; I named him Carl, and I miss that car.

86. I want to move to Calgary.

85. I’ve traveled more within Canada than I have to foreign countries.

84. I will trust you easily; violate that trust and I’ll never forgive you.

83. My grumpiness in the morning is a façade. You can talk to me; it’s okay.

82. I read my horoscope every day. I don’t use it as a guiding factor, but I think there is truth to them.

81. I am a news junkie (OK, you likely knew that one).

80. I don’t think I’ve led past lives, but if I did, I think I’d be a s*** disturber in all of them.

79. My middle name is Michael.  I don’t usually tell people that, not because I think it’s lame, but because there isn’t a cool story behind it. It’s just another name.

78. It drives me bonkers when people call/e-mail and call me “Terry.” That’s not my name!

77. I’m pretty reserved in person. Social media is where I’m loudest.

76. I haven’t always liked gin…

75. Every car that I’ve ever owned has been in a car accident (none of them have been my fault).

74. As much as I’d like to do it, I feel like I’ve wasted a day if I spend it in bed.

73. I shoot evil, evil looks at people on the subway when I can hear their music.

72. I have a hard time letting people in my life, but an easy time pushing them out.

71. My biggest regret in life is that I have a hard time saying, to anybody, “I love you.” When I say it, I really mean it, despite it being awkward to communicate.

70. I think that’s partly why I don’t see myself getting married.

69. I think this number is funny… (Yeah, yeah… I’m so mature).

68. My family will either a) think I’m a pervert or b) ask me why I found the previous one funny.

67. If I tease you, it means I genuinely care for you.

66. Sarcasm is a huge must-have for any future partner in my life.

65. In my personal life, I speak quickly without thinking. It means that I sometimes contradict myself and come across as shady. I’m not.

64. This list is actually harder than I thought.

63. I feel like sometimes, the only being I can connect with, is an animal; they don’t judge. They just love you.

62. I cannot handle horror movies. The slightest bit of violence, especially with knives, makes me want to vomit.

61. I saw someone get shot when I was in Ottawa with my family; I remember it vividly and think it’s the scariest moment of my life.

60. I hate going to the doctor.

59.

My friend Amy took this photo when we were driving back from Thunder Bay. I love it.

58. This is my favourite ABBA song.

57. My keyboard and mouse are losing battery life as I write this.

56. That previous one and this one were written solely because I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write!

55. I have friends in the UK, Spain, Barbados and Australia, but have only been to one of those countries!

54. I have been to more funerals than weddings.

53. My biggest fear is dying with nobody around me.

52. This post was supposed to be published three days ago, but I got busy.

51. I’m fiercely protective of my independence. Threaten it, and I will chase you away.

So, there you have it… the first installment. What will come next? Feel free to submit questions on the Facebook page and they might get answered! Please also feel free to comment on which one(s) you find the most surprising.

I’m Going to Be in a Wedding (not my own)!

So, let me publicly say to the entire world for the first time that this week has been a whirlwind. Not a lot of people knew that I was seeing someone and that it recently came to a crashing end. So yes, I’m sad – but there’s no need to talk about the past and yes, I’m ready to move on. I’ve gone from being sad most of the week to being very happy because my dear friend Stephanie has asked me to the Best Man in her wedding (I guess more of a Man of Honour?). I’m excited and honoured: I of course have a great friendship with Steph and I’m excited for her to marry her beau, Mike. I’ve known them both for a long time and it’s exciting.

As you may know, I was the emcee in my friend Natasja’s wedding – and it was really exciting to be a part of. Now I get to do the same (how does this work – do I get walked down the aisle? All I know is I get to give a speech (and yes, Steph, I will tell stories).

Anyways, all of this plus the recent breakup has made me realize that I don’t see myself as marriage material. No, I’m not wild and seeing tons of people at the same time, but I don’t think marriage works for me. I don’t need or want some piece of paper to tell me that I am committed to somebody – maybe partly because everything is so raw and I am still sad – instead, I think it can be shown by actions and deeds. I have seen marriage work: after all, my parents are nearing 25 years of marriage. Not an easy feat to accomplish in this day and age!

So, here’s my promise: Steph and Mike, my speech will be chock full of Simpsons quotes (“You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes to move your car. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.”) and will be hilarious. While I may not hire strippers for your bachelorette party, I will… bring someone awesome as my plus one. It may be the teacup pig from Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, who knows. Alternatively… This will happen:

It’s been a long time!

Yes, I’ve neglected this blog for a little bit… Things have been busy! Adjusting to my new job, attending a wedding, continuing my work-out regime and many other exciting (and wonderful) things happening in my life.

So, what’s been going down? Let’s begin…

Natasja gets married

We’re all growing up so fast!

Just over a month ago, my best friend in the whole wide world, Natasja, became a Missus. It’s still weird for me to say that, to be honest. It was a lovely, intimate reception and I got to be the emcee. Despite some craziness (oh, let’s say… the site of the reception burning down the morning of the wedding), it was a fantastic day and I’m still super happy for the newlyweds. BUT, it should be noted that Natasja is doing her best to make all the rest of us look bad… Not only is she a newlywed, but she is also a recently published author. Check out her book, available on Amazon!

Josh Crosses the Border

This is a real product in America…

A venture into Western New York led to the best discount store ever: Big Lots where there were some absolutely hysterical products available for purchase. While a whole photo series emerged from the trip, the At Home Marijuana Drug Test is my personal favourite. This is seriously real…

Birthday Awesomeness

I was spoiled rotten

Yep, I turned 24. And I was spoiled for the occasion, getting to celebrate multiple times. My favourite was the actual day, when the above was given to me. I love birthdays and I think, so far, my 24th was the most special.

Summer, please don’t end…

The view from my balcony.

This has been a lovely summer, full of adventure, life changes and new people. I don’t want it to end, but at the same time am excited for what’s to come next…

 

Now Hiring: Single Best Friend

You must be at least this gangsta to be my BFF

In less than 24 hours my dearest friend and “sista from anotha mista”, Natasja, will be a married woman. This means she gets a promotion to “best married friend.” That means the position of “best single friend” is available (Steph – you are “best engaged friend – don’t fret). In this economy, any job is a good job if you believe Jim Flaherty, and so… I’m pleased to open applications for the position of best single friend.

Wanted: Best Single Friend

Must be:

• Single
• Between the ages of 20 – 25
• Know all the words to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Carly Rae Jeppsen’s “Call Me Maybe” (for mocking purposes)
• Experienced in handling a moody, snarky, sarcastic 23-year old male
• Willing to partake in the occasional drinking of alcoholic beverages (G&T drinkers preferred, but not necessary)
• Must answer ALL phone calls; the previous position-holder had a bad habit of not answering her phone

Those interested in the position should tweet @JTerr88 to demonstrate fluency in 21st century technology. Samples of hilarious autocorrect accidents may be asked for. NO PHONE CALLS.

In all seriousness, I’m excited for tomorrow and send pre-emptive best wishes to Natasja and Elijah for 30,000 years of happiness together. Not a minute less.