Now Hiring: Single Best Friend

You must be at least this gangsta to be my BFF

In less than 24 hours my dearest friend and “sista from anotha mista”, Natasja, will be a married woman. This means she gets a promotion to “best married friend.” That means the position of “best single friend” is available (Steph – you are “best engaged friend – don’t fret). In this economy, any job is a good job if you believe Jim Flaherty, and so… I’m pleased to open applications for the position of best single friend.

Wanted: Best Single Friend

Must be:

• Single
• Between the ages of 20 – 25
• Know all the words to Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Carly Rae Jeppsen’s “Call Me Maybe” (for mocking purposes)
• Experienced in handling a moody, snarky, sarcastic 23-year old male
• Willing to partake in the occasional drinking of alcoholic beverages (G&T drinkers preferred, but not necessary)
• Must answer ALL phone calls; the previous position-holder had a bad habit of not answering her phone

Those interested in the position should tweet @JTerr88 to demonstrate fluency in 21st century technology. Samples of hilarious autocorrect accidents may be asked for. NO PHONE CALLS.

In all seriousness, I’m excited for tomorrow and send pre-emptive best wishes to Natasja and Elijah for 30,000 years of happiness together. Not a minute less.