What I Learned in 2012

Should auld acquaintance be forgot…

I started to write my first crack at the “Year in Review” post back in October. Then, I decided to just delete it and start from scratch. Like last-minute Christmas shopping, I’m now scrambling to get this blog post up before it’s 2013 and I’m too late.

For regular readers, friends, family and acquaintances alike,  you all know that I absolutely hate the year 2012. In just a few hours from now, I’m happy to report that this year is over and it’s time for a fresh start.

However, to go through a year like I did and not take some lessons out of it would be a waste of time. I think the universe was testing me this year and, I’d like to think that I succeeded in passing the test. I showed myself that I can be pretty resilient. It’s something that I didn’t know I had in me (at least to the point that I had to be resilient this year) and I’m not sure where it comes from, but I’m really happy to know that I can go through turmoil, stay calm (ish) and come out the other end stronger and more focused.

So, what did I learn in 2012?

First, I learned that love is a brutal thing. I’m not ashamed to say that I was in love this year. I’m not ashamed to say that feeling isn’t there anymore and  I wish that person nothing but the best. I go in to 2013 more knowledgeable about what I want in a relationship, what I expect from other people and how I want to be treated by a partner or potential partner.

Second, I learned that I don’t just want a job where I churn out mindless items for various clients, making no difference for something. It took some career changes to find that out, but I’m in a job now where I get to work with amazing people and make a difference in the city. That makes me feel good about going to work each and every day. It’s the first time I’ve felt that way in a long time, which is a nice change.

Third, and most importantly, I learned that I have the best friends and family in the whole world. Sure, I already had a pretty good idea of that being the case but 2012 confirmed it. I asked a lot from a great deal of people and they never complained about it once. I couldn’t ask for a more encouraging, supportive group of people. I hope that this coming year, I can repay that favour and show you that just like you were there for me, I’ll be there for you.

I didn’t think of this until Christmas Eve, but when I was visiting with two of my aunts on my Dad’s side of the family, I remembered a sign my Papa had on his back door for guests coming to his house. He put it up every winter and I think the message he left for visitors applies to how I approached 2012: “Walkway is slippery. If you fall down, you’ll just have to get back up.” He was right then and is right now; I fell down a few times this year, but I just kept getting back up. Sure, I may have a few bruises, but I’m no worse off than I was before I fell.

With that out of the way, I wish each and every one of you a happy, safe and healthy 2013. Tonight, I’ll raise a glass (of G&T of course) to the many adventures to come. I hope all of you will be there with me for them!

A Little Update

It’s been awhile since I wrote a post, committing the cardinal sin of blogging; I should be doing regular updates, probably at least twice a week. I’m nowhere near that. But hey, it’s my blog so I’ll do it my way.

If you’ve read any of my other articles, you’ll know that I’ve not been a fan of 2012. It’s been a pretty crummy year, but things have turned around. I’m two days in to my new job and I can say without a doubt that I love it. The work will be challenging but rewarding, the team I get to work with is full of smart, wonderful and friendly people who already have shown that my opinion is valued and welcomed and the work I do ultimately makes a difference in the City of Toronto. Can’t complain about that!

With the holidays approaching, of course your thoughts turn to friends and family. And as I said in my last post, my family and friends have been asked to support me through a lot this year. You (and I say you because 99% of the readers of this blog are friends/family) have no idea how grateful I am for your constant love, support and ears (for the times I need to rant and rave about how unfair life has been – a pity party, in short).

So, the year of crumminess looks to be ending on a very high note; that makes me happy. While I hope that none of you go through things where the support you provided me is needed, as I said last post, if it is, I certainly owe you.

How do I feel about life right now? Well, once again, a 70’s TV theme says it all. Just replace the female pronouns with male ones.

Captain Independent

I’m drawing a comparison between a free-flying bird (non-pigeon) and me. Just roll with it.

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”

-Socrates

First: I’m stunned that I quoted a philosopher, given my disdain for my university philosophy courses. However, that said, I definitely agree with my old friend Socrates on this one. Yes, I’m going to opine on the glory that is independence.

I’d like to think that, ever since I was a child, I had a bit of an independent streak. It’s evident from this blog: I’ll go from writing about my progress at the gym, to writing about Rob Ford and his antics, to independence. Forget all the PR courses I took that taught me to pick a subject and focus on it! That’s for work time! Blogging is me time (plus, I do have a focused blog – which has a new post up) and if you don’t like it, don’t read. But yes, as a child, I had my fair share of tantrums and desire to do things my way, regardless of what other people told me. While I’m sure it was a pain in the ass for my parents, it certainly prepared me well for independence.

My first real taste of independence was when I went off to the University of Ottawa in 2006. After starting second year and having the worst roommates in the world (terrible people – and if they are somehow reading this, I don’t care) who treated me like a sub-par human being, I had had enough of their crap and moved back home. While it was an adjustment, my parents certainly respected the fact that I was an adult and could make my own decisions. Sure, they always asked “where I was going,” but it was never a demand to know – they just were curious (I teased that they were living vicariously through me).

After finishing the PR program at Durham College and getting my first “big boy” job at a small agency, it didn’t take long for the urge to want to move out to hit. And so, in December 2010, I set out alongside a good friend who I’ve known since I was 4 for Toronto, which has been home ever since.

When it comes to dating/relationships, well… it doesn’t happen. I’m too protective of myself and the independence that I fought for. It’s hard for me to let someone else in, because it makes me feel dependent. I don’t like that feeling. I like being able to rely on myself and only myself. It’s a challenge and it isn’t easy, but I strive for it anyways. While there are always people I’ll rely on (ie: family and good friends), I’ll still be fiercely protective of my independence. In fact, if I live to be as old as my Great-Grandmother did, I’ll likely fight as hard as she did to live in my own home as long as possible. So, perhaps that independent streak runs in the genes…

Confidence.

I’m starting to really like these one-word title blog posts. I know that people always say that a blog should be focused and consistent in its content: be it entertainment, food, cooking, drinks, home décor, or whatever; I, however, like having an ecclectic blog. I do, after all, have a blog with a focused theme. This one serves as my creative outlet. If you don’t like it, too bad.

There is a huge difference between being confident and being cocky. Confidence is alluring; it lets people know that you have absolute faith in yourself and that they should have that same faith. Cockiness, on the other hand, is arrogance personified. It’s vain and it shows that you are capable of loving nothing more than yourself. To boil it down: confidence > cockiness.

These days, I have to say, I’m feeling pretty confident. While it may only be two days in, I straight up love my new job. It’s like night and day between any other position I’ve ever had. The people I work with seem to enjoy what they do and genuinely want to make sure that I not just integrate in to the team, but succeed alongside with them and grow at the same time. I can’t say enough good things about the group. It’s nice to be able to go home at night and feel like I’ve accomplished things. I’m looking forward to the many challenges and exciting things to come.

What’s more, is that there is a lot of progress being made on the gym side of things too. Now, I’m no “Ah-Nuld” but I’ve put on a good amount of weight (muscle, for the most part), I have more energy and I look healthier. Sure, I may curse when things get hard at the gym, but as I have said before: I have a fantastic trainer who understands my goals, helps me reach them, knows how to push me and isn’t brutally mean and hard on me when things get difficult.

So, it’s a rosy outlook from here on out and I’m excited about what lies ahead!

Change.

Okay, so not this kind of change; but you get the point.

Change: The act or instance of making or becoming different.

Change happens; be it quick or be it slow, it happens. For some of us, change means we see close friends have kids and/or get married. For others, it means moving away. For me, change is coming in the form of a new job.

I’m excited about this new challenge. It means new responsibilities, new people and it helps me achieve my goal of working in a PR agency. I like how hectic agency life is. I like being able to work for a lot of different clients.

This new job is out of my comfort zone. Every single job I’ve had in my professional career has been with a small team: be it working with a Member of Parliament and having a staff of three others in our office and two in the Ottawa office, or be it working for another small PR agency where there was only eight of us. Even the ROM, which is a large organization, had a small PR team (which is awesome). I learned a lot in all of these positions but now I’m going to a bigger organization – NATIONAL Public Relations. I’m excited to join a bigger company, because I feel like there is going to be a lot of talent to learn from. At the same time, I’m nervous because I’ve never been part of a big team. I’ve always been in a “little pond” so to speak, so this is my proverbial leap to the ocean.

The decision to go to NATIONAL caused a lot of internal conflict. And it was a lot to think about, until a good friend of mine, Katie (and yes, you’re a friend) gave me some words of wisdom. She talked to me about doing what would bring me peace and doing what I could to go to sleep at the end of the day, knowing that I’d made the right decision. It made me realize that, as a young professional, I have a lot of opportunities for new things ahead of me. I have the chance to experience a lot of different things and the opportunity to join NATIONAL is going to let me experience a lot of those. It was her advice that made things a done deal for me.

So, I’m at peace with my decision and I’m excited for the next challenge of my professional life. It’s going to be exciting, it’s going to be interesting and I know that I’ll be able to go home at the end of the day, enjoying what I’ve done. This change is a good one.